Today we are pleased to have a small class come together to demonstrate these two companion poses, padangusthasana and padahasthasana.
From left to right we have: our guest teacher, Rodney Copperbottom; the mysterious mutant, Nightcrawler
Rodney: Inhale and hop your feet your hip’s width apart. If your hip joints actually move. Batman, just do the best you can.
Nightcrawler: I am afraid of you. A robot! That talks! You are the work of a demon, I am certain.
Rodney: Exhale and hands on hips. Sometimes bulk works against us in yoga, Batman, but you’re doing great! Focus on the intention of bending your elbows and one day it just might happen!
Batman: I’ve got your intention hanging right here, Swami.
Rodney: Inhale and arch back slightly, lifting your heart. Excellent, Nightcrawler, the fact that you have an articulated thorax is such an advantage. Now, keep your focus inward. In this position your drishti, or point of focus, should be your third eye. That’s in the middle of your forehead. Nightcrawler, I know you’re a mutant, do you have an extra eyeball anywhere on your body?
Nightcrawler: Blue devil! That is a very personal question.
Rodney: Exhale, bend forward, and try to grab your big toes with your thumb and forefinger, and then gently straighten your legs. Nightcrawler, it looks like you’re the only one with toes this morning! I’m sorry, I know its part of your identity and everything but next time, Batman, I’m going to have to ask you to remove your flippers before class.
Nightcrawler: My hamstrings! They are shrieking!
Batman: You know, you could practice a little more acceptance, it wouldn’t kill you.
Rodney: Okay, still holding your toes, inhale halfway up, scooping your chest and gazing softly at the horizon . . .
Nightcrawler: With my third eye?
Batman: I’m just thanking god right now that someone taped the backs of my feet to the floor.
Rodney: . . . and exhale down, reaching for your toes. Stay here for five breaths, deepening your forward bend with every exhale. Batman, I don’t know, try to grab onto your flippers or something.
Nightcrawler: EEEEEEEEE!
Batman: Is he trying to adjust me with sarcasm?
Rodney: Great! Now inhale halfway up again as your gaze softens and your shoulders drop away from your ears . . .
Nightcrawler: You are surely sent from the depths of Hell itself to torture us!
Batman: My ears are on the top of my head and my shoulders aren’t going anywhere.
Rodney: . . . as we move into Padahastasana now, exhale and try to slip your hands underneath your feet.
Nightcrawler: My hands under my feet! I have tipped over onto my head! You are truly a fiend.
Batman: WTF?
Rodney: Again, you’re going to inhale halfway up and lengthen those spines, gentlemen!
Nightcrawler: What is this? Damn him and his unnaturally flexible hamstrings!
Batman: Well, obviously he has a background in dance.
Rodney: Strong legs, and with your toes against your wrists you’re going to fold back down for five more breaths. I’m not quite warmed up yet so I’m taking my hands out to the side.
Nightcrawler: I am sickened by this freakish display of meditative flexibility.
Batman: I can’t believe how vulnerable he is right now.
Nightcrawler: Surely you would not take advantage and harm him in this state? With his crown chakra throbbing so vibrantly?
Batman: Well, but did you hear how he was talking to me?
Rodney: breathing
Nightcrawler: Ah, but what am I saying? I am an ethically ambiguous cartoon character! And I am burning with shame for the incompetence of my hip flexors! Someone must pay!
Nightcrawler: LET’S TEAR OUT HIS SPINAL COLUMN!
Batman: Whoa, dude. He’s just a yoga teacher. He still has much to learn.
Rodney: And inhale, gazing softly forward, and . . .
Rodney: Hey! You guys were just taking it easy while I did all the work, weren’t you!
Nightcrawler: No, that was a fine demonstration, I was enraptured by your alignment!
Batman: Uh, me too.
Rodney: Practice and it will come, gentlemen. Hop your feet back together. Namaste.
Nightcrawler: What does that mean, that foreign word! It burns in my ears!
Batman: You know what, you’re kind of a drama queen.
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Whoa, I thought we were going to see some spontaneous robot lovin’ for a second there. I think you should consider using figures that aren’t obviously hopped up on steroids and hormone supplements. Perhaps it would be safer for the, uh, skinny guy.
“Batman: I’m just thanking god right now that someone taped the backs of my feet to the floor.”
Oh! So that’s the trick. I’ll have to try that.
Genius, genius, genius.
Tears, actual tears, running down my face.
I agree with Kelly, “Batman: I’m just thanking god right now that someone taped the backs of my feet to the floor.” was freaking hilarious. If only I’d known!
I kindof hate to admit it but back in my teen years when I read X-Men comics, I was a little TOO much into Nightcrawler. I’m sorry but I think he’s hot. There, I’ve said it. No take backs. Plus, he has a tail! Wanna get me some tail.
the tears are rolling down my face! gawd this is so good. I anticipate each new post. thank you thank you thank you.
There’s not enough tape in all of 3M to help me.
OMG. Watching Batman do yoga is like watching my boyfriend try and do Yoga. He’s so not bendy… And the Nightcrawler’s screaming was right in line with his screaming at the TV.
This is too funny.
Batman: WTF?
That’s me during yoga class… hilarious stuff! Keep it coming!
I especially love the depth of field changes to emphasize conversation amonst the students.
I should know better by now than to look at yogabeans during work. Somehow telling your boss that you’re laughing your ass off because superhero figurines are doing yoga just doesn’t sound professional. Keep up the marvelous, marvelous work!
dude- batman is soooo hot!
this is the funniest post so far. keep it up mrs. k.
Best one yet, Eden!
Batman really *does* need to remove his flippers if he is truly going to gain the rich benefits of his yoga practice
That tail! That tail! Nightcrawler gets extra points for incorporating it into his poses. And Batman–his heart chakra is practically busting out of his chest (like all his other muscles). You’ve got to give him credit for having more than two toes… Does Rodney do private sessions?
The picture directly above
Nightcrawler: LET’S TEAR OUT HIS SPINAL COLUMN!
Batman:Whoa, dude. He’s just a yoga teacher. He still has much to learn.
is absolutely brilliant and perfectly matched to what they are saying. You are beginning to scare me. I am pretty sure these guys are really talking to you (and each other).
I think it’s easier for me to learn from the dolls than from the instructors at my Y.
hee-hee. even to a non-yogaite such as myself, this was fuckin’ genius! keep it up, Mrs. K. you bring a whole new level of, er, sobriety to the world of yoga.
this is absolutely brilliant.
Loved it. Gives me the strength (and inspiration) to continue doing the voices for my 5-year-old’s DAMN dolls. Maybe one of them could be a sociopath? Or a slurring drunk? Maybe I could just do a few things between the lines, so she won’t notice…but I will know the satire is there, and it will keep me from the hard liquor, just one more day.
the tape on Batman! the tape! it makes me laugh.
thank you, Batman.
there is a book in your future. a veryvery funnyfunnyfunny book. and many people will buy it. and i will be first. and i will laugh and laugh and laugh. and so will you… all the way to the bank! (this post is beyond priceless)
(this is jenijen (notcalm)typing for my son, lexy)
I REALLY thought this was funny! Two parts especially caught my ears and eyes and made me laugh: “blue devil, that’s a very personal question,” and “let’s rip out his spinal column.” I read the whole thing out loud to my mom for my twenty minutes of reading for homework tonight!
Maybe in the next one, you could have Nightcrawler get too caught up in a yoga pose so he can’t move.
ps. i do yoga!
Yogabeans is freakin’ genius! I laugh out loud every time you post a new thread. Soooo funny!
fussy, you are fucking genious. hilarious.
So cool. I wonder if anusara yoga would improve Nightcrawler’s chakra? (:
Don’t feel guilty for having crushes on animated characters—it was Spiderman for me.
Holy Yogi, Batman!
OMG – laughed out loud! Batman in the flippers – genius. And Nightcrawler – this was fab.
Very clever and funny shtuff! Quite entertaining!
Loved this! Sharing with all my yoga buds!
Although, I do think the tape is holding Batman back. He needs to work on letting go of the things that no longer serve him. Also, Rodney’s left leg looks a bit more lose and springy compared to his right. But everyday and everyone’s abilty is different and we must observe such changes without judgement.
Namaste.
-Amanda
You totally need to get the Spiderman figure with the 96 points of articulation. Think of the poses!
Batman: Well obviously he has a background in dance
BAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh my god. I love this! I love this!
Thank you for making me laugh on an otherwise poopy-ish day.
"ethically ambiguous cartoon character" – I love it
[...] doubt you’ll see Satan, but if you see a dude with blue skin let me know, it might be Nightcrawler. I owe him some [...]
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